Jakotsu: The Woman In Me!
by hentai18ancilla
Summary: The sardonic story of falling in love with the opposite sex- especially when you think you're gay and consider heterosexuality to be odd. A quirky sweet romance .
1. Prologue

* * *

_Some things, niño, some things are like this,  
That instantly and in themselves they are gay  
And you and I are such things, O most miserable . . ._

Wallace Stevens

**_

* * *

_****Prologue**

* * *

"NANI!" screamed Kagome absolutely flabbergasted and unable to believe her eyes closed them and decided to count to ten before checking again. This couldn't be real...

"What do you think you are doing dumb wench?" Jakotsu harshly interrupted her from her delusions.

"IIIEE!" Cried Kagome overwrought with the fact that they were stuck together.

It was an irreverisble fact.

"Move wench!" Jakotsu ordered as he tried ineffectually to move closer to Inuyasha who was lying prostate on the floor laughing his ass off.

Maybe he could sneak in a kiss or two since the hanyou didn't seem to be aware of his surroundings. Why couldn't he have been tied to that prize piece of man meat? He wouldn't mind sleeping next to that every night, in fact he'd look forward to it.

"Stop drooling on me you bastard!" Kagome snapped irately, slapping Jakotsu away from his fantasies.

"What do we do now?" She asked after she had his attention,well, only partially since Jakotsu was still trying to disrobe Inuyasha with his eyes.

"You're coming with us." Stated Inuyasha breaking the tension before cracking up again.

This was starting to get annoying,and it was only the beginning.

* * *

**_Author's Note:_**

I'm just revising the story. Maybe update a bit. Dunno. (-_^)

-Dani.

* * *


	2. Realization

* * *

_I'm going to live. I'm going to have a good time while I can.  
That's my motto, Kringelein. A short life and a gay one._

William A. Drake

* * *

**Chapter 1: Realizations  
**

* * *

It was pitch black and the only illumination available was in the twining obsidian strands that moved with deadly accuracy. Skulls adorned the deadly hair follicles as they crisscrossed unto their next victim moving with quick rapidity to dispatch its powerless victims into their next life; roping their beautiful ethereal strands with malevolent intentions.

Kagome woke up perspiring. It was all a dream…nothing happened.

She started to turn to lay on her left side reaching over for her adopted son Shippo when she heard an angry voice cut the stilted silence of the night.

"Take your hands OFF me FILTHY WOMAN!" Jakotsu screeched disgusted.

Nope.

It was not a dream.

She really was tied to Jakotsu.

Life sucked.

"My hands were not on you, and besides, why don't you move away?" Kagome asked wearily, already knowing the answer to her question but asking it to shut him up.

"Humph!" Jakotsu spat stealing her only covers as he tried to pull away from her supposed "cooties". He didn't call it that, but that's what it amounted to anyways. Kagome was disappointed to discover that it was not all a scary nightmare.

"Shippo, darlin', where are you?" Kagome asked worried.

"Over here mommy…" Shippo relied quietly. Too quietly.

"Why are you over there?" Kagome asked sitting up from the hard cold mattress bereft of covers.

"Yeah cutie pie come over here and lay by me!" Jakotsu cried happily believing Shippo to be his salvation from Kagome.

It was then Kagome understood. While Jakotsu wasn't a pedophile, he _was_ rather exuberant with his affections to the male species in general. A favor he did not return to females. This also explained why Inuyasha wasn't sleeping with her. Inuyasha would always sleep with her claiming to protect her, and she had discovered that he couldn't sleep without making sure Shippo was safe either. Although you couldn't get him to admit it ever! He'd sooner beat Shippo rather than tell him he loves him, but only he could do that and if anyone else harmed his son they were in for it. It was pretty hilarious. Some thought that Inuyasha didn't care about anyone but himself but in reality he considered them all his pack, and would never truly harm them. Just enough to exact vengeance like the time she ate all the Ramen and didn't leave any for him he made her hike two more miles up a cliffy ravine.

That had been quite painful especially because she still hated working out.

While she knew Inuyasha was sort of attracted to her, she never encouraged him simply because all of her relationships didn't seem to last and it wouldn't be fair to Inuyasha. Hell, her longest had been three days. By the third day she was telling Hojo they should see other people.

The sad thing was that Hojo still thought they were a 'couple'. And Kouga, here in the Feudal Era. She didn't even want to remember. That crazy wolf was still running around saying she was his woman. Was it any wonder she didn't want to go out with anymore guys?

"Can you like move! Seriously! You're hogging all the bed! I am sure Yashie wouldn't do that…" Jakotsu muttered irritably.

Even though she wanted to lay off of guys, did the Gods have to send her this stupid cross-dresser of all people?

"It's a small cot. Get used to it, lame ass." Kagome mumbled before stealing back her covers and leaving Jakotsu to the biting wind.

"Woman, give those back!" Jakotsu yelled, afraid to touch her-he didn't want to get contaminated and it was too late to bath again.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

A/N: When I wrote this I was not a rabid yaoi fangirl. Now I am and I must say that Jakotsu is a stereotypical distortion contrived from the mass media. Real gay men are not like that. He is a mockery of what a homosexual is a product from those who suffer from homophobia. A hyperbolic example to ridicule and incite disgust and anger. I do not condone this but I am using it for my story.

-Dani.

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	3. Morning ordeals

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Disclaimer: I own naught but perverted fantasies.

A/N: Just a plot bunny that came to me while watching the anime.

* * *

_Gay men are guardians of the masculine impulse. To have anonymous sex in a dark alleyway is to pay homage to the dream of male freedom. The unknown stranger is a wandering pagan god. The altar, as in prehistory, is anywhere you kneel._

Camille Paglia

* * *

**Chapter 2: Morning Ordeals**

* * *

Jakotsu woke up slowly with the heady smell of orchids reaching his nose. It was probably Yashie-he couldn't resist him and must've snuck in at night- how sweet! Jakotsu wrapped his arms around 'Yashie' and brought his head on to the crook of his neck and lightly skimmed his fangs on Yashie's arterial points bringing a shudder from 'him'…

Kagome was having a nightmare. A vampire was preparing to suck all of her blood and she was immobilized with fear but couldn't stop her trembling when she felt Dracula's long pointy fangs before the kiss of death. It was just like the movie she'd seen before! She was in a Romanian crypt reading ancient Latin inscriptions when-Dracula came. And now he was licking her neck, no doubt to check which point was tastier…

Inuyasha woke up to the smell of acute fear, and also the smell of orchids mixed with sickeningly sweet honey. It didn't smell bad but it sent a pang at his heart to know that the person he loved was afraid. He quickly jumped off of the tree, making sure Shippo was safe on the branch and undisturbed before quietly sneaking up on Kagome to check on her, when he saw red.

There was Jakotsu-pawing at _HIS_ Kagome-kissing her heatedly on the vulnerable skin of her neck, preparing to mark her with his elongated fangs. Jakotsu had a glazed look of lust on his slumbering features…if he was sleeping, that bastard! He probably made up the whole thing of liking men to get him off his track. And it worked too.

Inuyasha smelt the air delicately and was relieved to find her as she always was. While she didn't smell precisely innocent he attributed that to her miko powers because she didn't smell like the whores i the villages either.

Jakotsu continued with his amorous intentions and flashed a deadly claw and tore up Kagome's clothes in one swift cut and she whimpered helplessly.

Inuyasha swiftly grabbed Jakotsu by the throat and tossed him hard against a nearby tree.

He landed with a heavy thud.

That sure woke him up, Inuyasha smiled fiercely before turning back to the still sleeping Kagome. He blushed lightly as he shook her gently.

"Ummm Kagome?…" he questioned softly.

"No don't eat me!" she cried.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha said loudly, finally waking her up from her trappings of sleep.

"Inuyasha!" she cried running into his arms.

Naked.

"Gah!" Inuyasha yelled mortified.

Only to be shaken out of his mortification by a dizzy Jakotsu that landed on top of him as gravity removed his form from the tree above.

Kagome glared fiercely at both of them, trying to collect the ripped shambles of her attire, muttering about stupid hentai guys, before turning back to them as her modesty was preserved- somewhat.

"Just what do you guys think you were doing!" she screamed not knowing who the guilty party was, or if both were culpable.

Both guys hurriedly ran in the opposite direction at the ominous expression in her foreboding eyes…

At least Inuyasha succeeded.

Unfortunately Jakotsu ran to far and was sent flying directly back at Kagome.

A very furious Kagome who was now debating whether God would forgive her this one lapse if she purified the heavy demon lying on her small frame.

Yes, just a little zap and nothing more...surely the gods would understand!

* * *

No need to rev. I'm doing this for my own satisfaction. Do flame, it's always entertaining. ^_~

* * *


	4. Weird Attraction

* * *

_All charming people, I fancy, are spoiled. It is the secret of their attraction._

Oscar Wilde

* * *

**Chapter 3: Weird Attraction  
**

* * *

Jakotsu gulped nervously. For a miko Kagome had an awful temper when irked, and she got mad at the most simple things! Like being told of her lower status in comparison to himself, or when he told her to remove her disgusting ningen presence away from him.

"Jakotsu, I am going to say this once and only once, leave me the hell alone you stupid prick!"

Jakotsu glared at the girl before him, no right speaking to him like that and he would not let her get away with it!

"You listen to me you disgusting little girl," Jakotsu began befor being cut off.

But Kagome stopped him from his ranting by putting a finger on his lips, leaving him sputtering trying to wipe her taste off him.

"You listen to me you stupid _fag_!"

"I don't care what you think, you primitive little man!" She just had to say that because he insulted her height as well although he was actually well over 6'5 feet tall, and she was just 5'4.

"While we are stuck like this you will learn to respect me, or else…"

Jakotsu looked at the infuriating girl in front of him, and for the life of him could not see what Inuyasha found so enthralling.

She was temperamental, and annoying, and she also tasted sweetly of orchids and rain when his tongue had grazed the sensitive point of her neck…not that he had been paying attention to her anything!

No, her form did **NOT** please him and she was just the same as all the other girls: stupid, ugly, and annoying.

Very annoying as a matter of fact as his cheek felt the imprint of her slap.

He got mad. No girl had the right to slap him!

"Iie! You girl will defer to me while we are in this situation!"

Jakotsu was going to continue with his outburst but he was suddenly left speaking to the empty air as Kagome stalked off.

Dragging him behind her like a sack of potatoes.

This could not become anymore disgraceful. His only comfort was in the knowledge that Inuyasha was not watching this humiliating spectacle.

"Haahaa!" Inuyasha howled in mirth, his face red and his eyes streaming with tears, momentarily making Jakotsu think that he sympathized with his horrible situation so much so that Inuyasha was even crying for him, understanding the hidden valor that Jakotsu had to put up with this embarrassing treatment.

But then he saw that Inuyasha was…laughing at him.

LAUGHING AT HIM?

Jakotsu glared heatedly at the impertinent girl in front of him, as soon as he got his claws on her…she would pay for making Yashie laugh at him.

Oh yes she would pay.

Jakotsu followed her into the cover of the hot springs nearby, hoping that the horrendously rude girl did not expect him to give **HER** the sight to his beautiful body. No way in makai! That disgusting girl would probably hit on him as countless scores of females had in the past.

But he saw that she did go to the hot springs and started to take off that ridiculously short kimono, and Jakotsu turned away blushing profusely, telling himself he was just trying to spare himself the horrible sight.

This proves it! The girl had no morals, and she had seduced Yashie away from him with her body. That little tart!

Jakotsu turned to glare at Kagome, forgetting her dishabille, and was stunned by what he saw.

She was wearing a small triangular piece of blue cloth that barely covered her unmentionables, and two more pieces of cloth seemed to be holding up her considerable bust-but it seemed as if she was in danger of popping out any minute now and the triangular pieces of cloth only seemed to emphasize more her nakedness and lithe shape.

He did not just say _lithe_ shape!

Kagome was an ugly whore! Yes, that's exactly what she was.

With sculpted muscles…and flowing lines that delineated her small perfect form, made of the palest alabaster.

And then there was the contrast of her obsidian black hair. ..and her-

_Iie!_

Jakotsu turned around, fuming angrily as the morning ticked away and he sat thinking of what he had just seen.

There was no way in hell.

* * *

**Japanese Terms**

Ningen: human**  
**

Iie: no

Makai: hell

* * *


	5. Mommy dearest

* * *

_Boy meets girl. Boy marries girl. Boy and girl angst over which family they visit at Thanksgiving and which one in December and whether or not it's best to serve turkey or goose for the family feast. When first faced with the reality that the family you married into does things differently, the warmth of tradition can take on a chill._

Marge Kennedy

* * *

**Chapter 5: Mommy Dearest  
**

* * *

Kagome glanced back at the flamboyantly dressed Jakotsu and stifled a sigh. How in the world was she expected to bring him back to her time discreetly? I mean I suppose the demonic markings all over his body could be covered by the base she used in her makeup appliqués but the elfin ears, long fangs, and slitted green eyes in his humanoid form weren't helping!

She guessed she could just brush it off and say it was contacts and the fangs a fashion statement from Romania…because Jakotsu creeped her out like that walking so stealthily she almost did not notice him unless she called forth her miko powers.

"Look wench! I am not attracted to you, so why do you keep staring at me so self-observed? If you are planning on seducing me again just forget it! I don't care how sweetly rounded your derriere is, or how full and plaint the white globes of your breasts are-I don't care!"

Kagome quirked an eyebrow flabbergasted at his explosion. Where had this tirade come from?

"Jakotsu?…I never said you were attracted to me, nor have I been trying to seduce you in any way shape or form, I mean look at me!" demanded Kagome irately.

"I'm not even dressed to seduce!" She scoffed.

Jakotsu looked.

And looked some more, wondering how her short revealing kimono was _not_ seductive especially seeing how it had become smaller with every washing and was tight against her curvaceous form-not that he noticed such insignificant details on a pesky female.

Kagome rolled her eyes bored. She had a math test tomorrow, and she had to get her butt over there before her mother found out she had overstayed. And she had to sneak Jakotsu into her room. Good thing she slept in the attic!

While she wasn't great in math-okay she sucked at it-she could still pass with a hard earned 'D' if she killed herself. And this is why Jakotsu was going to get his tushy inside that well, in 3 seconds flat if she had anything to say about it too!

"Jakotsu, I have heard that there are handsome, powerful demons chained on the other side of the well that need my assistance so I must leave you, okay?"

Kagome smiled secretly knowing that they couldn't be separated but since he thought her a 'stupid, ningen female' maybe he wouldn't notice her ploy…

"Wench!" Jakotsu screeched in his falsetto high voice, " We cannot be separated, or did you think I enjoyed sleeping with you!"

Kagome rolled her eyes thinking that his little buddy down there sure seemed happy to her. But she knew he was thinking of Inuyasha so she didn't worry about that detail. Now as for that loud-mouth hanyou, he was currently hiding away from her fluctuating anger. He probably went to see Kikyo because she had seen the soul stealers hovering in the air above pass by. Kagome felt a pang in her heart at the thought of their denied love.

What a tragic tale.

"Look stupid!" Kagome ground out, at wits end with the ornery fag before her-and no, not the ones her friend Yuri liked to roll between her lips- "You are coming with me and staying out of my way!"

And with that said Kagome ran to the well with her huge yellow backup that resembled something the cat threw up, and jumped in a blaze of blue-with Jakotsu right behind her.

Kagome felt Jakotsu fall right behind her and felt him grip her middle as they descended his groin pressed tightly against her backside, and she had to admit that he didn't feel bad, too bad that he was such a snob and didn't swing that way because she could have had a short fling with him and his nicely muscled body.

But reality was quickly impounded into her mind soon enough.

"Get OFF me you stinking ningen wench!"

Kagome got angry. She did not smell, she had bathed and put a French perfume on, _Tresor _that smelled provocatively of flowers and the essence of womanhood.

How dare he!

"I do not smell, and YOU are on ME you ignorant prick!"

With that Kagome lurched him off of her and stood up as elegantly as she could, with no skirt on, bare in her silky black thong as Jakotsu still clutched her skirt between his fingers agitated with the time traveling he had just been submitted to. And he stared up at her with flummoxed eyes as he tried to work around several things all at once; A

Kagome was practically naked trying to seduce him again and secretly Jakotsu admitted to himself that it was even working. She looked oh so naked, she was only inches from his face and if she kneeled down then he could take her… also something smelt odd.

Jakotsu decided to ponder his last thought, and as he focused his senses he almost passed out from the smell.

"Kami! Ningen you smell worse than usual! Your pathetic attempts to seduce me will not work wench, for I only like men." Jakotsu decided to bring her down to her place. At least mentally if not physically.

Kagome flared with anger and tore her skirt from his hands and put it on hastily before retorting, "The SMELL is from the outside. Tokyo to be precise, and 500 hundred years into the future where I am more advanced than YOU! Now, shut the fick up, and follow me! I am going to take a shower."

That said, Kagome whirled around, leaving a stuttering mad Jakotsu as he tried to grapple with what she just told him.

Life was weird.

Kagome on the other hand was mad. Pissed was more like it, and was thinking up devious ways to torture a lonely Jakotsu left in her hands…she could force him to wear a short pink dress and put make up on him and say that he needed to wear it for his own protection, and painful 3-inch high heels, oh yes, revenge was sweet.

* * *

What ever came over me?! I should stop now and rest. I don't even read Inuyasha fanfics anymore. Or the manga or anime. This is a waste of my time.

So why am I doing it?

* * *


	6. Jakotsu gone madwith lust

* * *

_For lust of knowing what should not be known,  
We take the Golden Road to Samarkand.  
_

James Elroy Flecker

* * *

**Chapter 7: Mad with Lust  
**

* * *

Jakotsu subconsciously grasped Kagome by the waist and pulled her protectively against him as Mrs. Higurashi continued to dance like a lunatic in front of them. Yes, definitely loca.

+I know people always just use the masculine form 'loco' but I'm fluent so trust me, fem. is with 'a'+

But besides the zaniness of the situation, Jakotsu could feel Kagome's delicious curves meld enticingly into his heat, and he started to rub her sweet round ass.

That's when she pulled away from him abruptly.

"What in the world are you doing Jakotsu!" Kagome screamed, nearly making him deaf for life.

"You had this cool wasp buzzing around your smelly ass, wench." Jakotsu replied frigidly, resuming his previous task now that he had an excuse.

Although this did not mean that he liked females per se, but he could singularly enjoy Kagome's round ass. I mean it was calling to him for fick's sake!

It was purring, "Jakotsu, rub me…pinch me, touch me…" so he naturally complied. But no, he was still gay.

100 percent homosexual. He just had an itsy bitsy attraction to her ass.

"Jakotsu! I don't care if there a BEE, stop touching me!" Kagome yelled and twirled around to face him, her mini skirt now ripped from her luscious body and held within his clawed grasp. She didn't seem to notice her apparent nudity. Okay so she wasn't naked, but he could imagine the rest.

Did he mention that she had long legs?

VERY LONG legs.

LONG…..long…legs.

"Jakotsu! What the hell are you staring at?" Kagome cried turning around to face the intruder, but found no one.

"Hmm…" Jakotsu murmured, finally noticing the small triangle that covered her sweet mons. It was made of a transparent white that allowed him to see her little nest of curls.

Partially.

Maybe he should bend over some more?

"Jakotsu? Are you even listening to me? Eww! You're slobbering. I bet you're thinking about eating that Ramen which my brother just brought home. Well you're not! You are eating dinner with the rest of us, and tonight, NO RAMEN!" Kagome yelled.

It seemed terribly hot inside the house. Maybe she wished to disrobe and shower with him. Like friends of course. They were tied together, and maybe this ONCE he'd relent and let her touch his person. And what in the world is she licking? She should not be licking that-that thing! She should be licking something else…like his shaft or something.

A very nice idea to reconsider. Wait…was she walking away from him? Hell no! She's MINE!

"Jakotsu, can you PLEASE let me go? I have to go take a shower now that you took away my ice cream cone because you said I shouldn't be licking it. I bet you think that the ice cream cone is too GREAT to be eaten by a 'mere' female! Well sorry to hurt your feelings, but it's not even alive. Now let go of me. Anyways your lap is uncomfortably lumpy. No way you are sleeping on my bed tonight if you keep acting like this! Anyways, you'd probably hog the sheets." Kagome said while trying to ease herself away from Jakotsu.

"I am not lumpy, and we do have to go take a shower. My beautiful hair is in tangles and has lost its shine. Inuyasha would mourn if he saw me like this!" Jakotsu cried trying to hide his erection and get her mind off his 'lumpy' lap. He was not turned on, it was just the air from the future that made him like this. I mean really! He felt hot enough to be in one of those saunas! Good thing that they were about to take a shower together…and he could explore…I mean help her out.

"Together! Dream on fag." Kagome replied, her butt swaying hypnotically side to side as she walked to her room, a salivating Jakotsu following closely behind, trying to convince himself that he did not care for said female.

Or lust for her.

Unfortunately his beast kind of disagreed.

In a major way…like claim Kagome as HIS kind of way.

"Kagome, have you forgotten that we are tied? As if I would like to take a bath with an ugly , stupid, stinking, ningen like you. A mere WOMAN. Humph. I am simply graciously accepting of the spell. Now hurry up and disrobe. I'm hungry…" Jakotsu said while covertly watching her shed her clothes, ever so slowly.

She was confident that he wouldn't look.

Sometimes it pays to be gay.

Like now when Kagome's pale globes were revealed to his fevered sight.

He did say he was hungry.

He just didn't say for what.

* * *

Need some ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's. -_-

* * *


	7. Fun in the Tub

* * *

_Variety, multiplicity are the two most powerful vehicles of lust._

Marquis de Sade

* * *

**Chapter 8: Fun in the Tub  
**

* * *

Kagome turned around, only to find Jakotsu right standing right behind her with a weird glazed look in his eyes.

Was he sick or something?

Probably.

It just didn't seem normal the way his eyes glittered fathomlessly in the dark.

She should get him some medication, on the other hand he DID deserve some pain for flirting with HER mom!

But no, that was just too cruel.

She couldn't do that to him. Or rather her damnable conscience wouldn't let her, sometimes it sucked to be good. At least he would suffer the bad tasting medicine…

"Oh Jakotsu, dear, are you ill? You look a bit peaked to me." Chirped Kagome, "Here let me give you some medicine, 'COUGH' medicine."

Jakotsu stared at her unseeing.

"Yup it tastes good. REAL good!" Kagome said grinning eerily all the while.

"What!" Jakotsu half shouted, losing his track when Kagome all but bounced in her happiness.

Those were some very nice pale round globes.

Were they as soft as they looked? Hmm. They smelled like sakura and

something even sweeter.

How would she taste if he licked those round nubs practically begging for his attention?

He couldn't deny them the succor of his mouth!

They were far too delicious to be wasted on her stale garments or on someone else's mouth.

Or 'Prince' Inuyasha…I mean sure he liked Inuyasha… or did he?

Inuyasha could NOT compare to a very naked and wet Kagome.

Like the one right in front of him.

"Jakotsu? Are you there man?" Kagome asked while snapping her fingers in his face rudely.

This meant she wouldn't be able to finish her bath if Jakotsu needed his medicine now.

Maybe he could wait a bit?

He still had shampoo in his hair- having only understood the soap part of her lecture.

How stupid could that self-centered fag be!

I mean honestly, her best friend Jason was gay but he wasn't chauvinistically annoying!

HE even went to a feminist lecture with her-which was kind of funny if you

think about it…

That's odd.

She seemed to be asking him something.

Perhaps she wanted him to take her?

Yes! She was having the same sexual frustration he had!

And he would oblige her, it was only right.

"JAKOTSU! Stop thinking about Inuyasha and get you skanky ass out of there!" Kagome yelled irritated.

"Skanky?" he asked confused.

He had been thinking about that mysterious triangle of hair she had.

Not her ass. Although in all truth it was perfectly round and soft as well.

It deserved his devotion too.

"EWW! Do those things in private! I do NOT want to see you jacking off to Inuyasha or whatever!" Kagome yelled finally weary beyond belief and she decided to risk her limbs and she 'touched' his sacred person and tried to dislodge him from her tiny bath.

She was soon to find out that this was a bad idea.

"Gyahhh!" Kagome yelled, clawing at the stupefied body frozen on top of her.

"Get off me you fag! I don't even want to think where that THING has been!"

Jakotsu though, was having different ideas about her writhing heatedly beneath him and decided to 'accidentally' slip in…

Kagome though was off in a different tangent when she discovered her new position, much to her anguish.

"EWWW! You are like rammed inside of me with that HUGE thing, how dare you! Now I definitely have herpes or something! Oh my gosh! What if I have AIDS? They always say that gay men get it first."

Kagome tried ineffectively to move Jakotsu but he wouldn't budge, that is until she zapped him with her miko powers.

"STOP moving BITCH!" Jakotsu growled out, and plunged inside her warm sheath yet again, but this time his eyes flashed red and he tried to sink his fangs onto the crook of her neck.

"Okay big boy, now I don't mind consenting sex and what not, but frankly I don't like your personality so you're not going to 'get' any from me any time in the near future. I just remembered that I could cure myself with my miko powers if I did catch anything from you but I didn't so I'm happy. I'll have to thank Kaede for that checking spell or you would be one dead demon-regardless if I'd have died because at that time I was not thinking straight."

Kagome then kicked Jakotsu in the groin and watched wickedly as he scrunched up in pain, grasping his family jewels for all he was worth.

"AND THAT…is because I felt like it, I mean burning you with my purifying energy didn't seem to put you in your place, so this should…" Kagome then tried to get another hit, but Jakotsu had wizened up and clenched his hands protectively in front of him. Kagome just bolted him on his sweet tushy with a searing sap of her power, leaving a nice imprint of red marks.

There, that should do it.

"Now I can tolerate your chauvinism to a point, and your idiocy, but don't you

ever dare to touch me there again! Is this UNDERSTOOD, Jakotsu?"

Kagome asked breathing in and out heavily.

Jakotsu did not reply.

He was still unconscious from her last physical attack and gazing stupidly at the ceiling. His eyes were swirling around in a daze and at the corner of his mouth drool was slipping.

One wondered what he was thinking?

**As for Kagome, she had another problem on her hands…**

"Geesh! Now he passes out, just when I'm feeling horny-what the freak!"

Kagome then turned and walked out the door calling up her part time boyfriend, she had an itch to scratch.

* * *

I was so corny! U_U I had 'P.O.V' instead of naturally letting the audience know of a change in perspective. I'm so ashamed that my writing was so awkward and immature. I can still improve though.

* * *


	8. Yo estaba nervioso, por ti

* * *

_Anxiety and lust are evicting the older passions.  
_

Mason Cooley

* * *

**Chapter 9:The Antsy Dog  
**

* * *

Inuyasha was angry.

It had been two whole weeks since Kagome and Jakotsu had been gone and they still hadn't returned.

Shippo the little imp would not fucking leave him alone! That runt kept crying for his momma. As if Kagome would ever have such an irritating brat as him.

No, she would give birth to his pups and they would have her beautiful blue eyes and her pretty smile and…

"InuyashaCANIhaveyour…Ramen?…." Shippo asked quietly hoping that he would agree before he understood his ploy.

Currently the filthy hanyou had a dazed look on his face and his tongue was lolling outside his mouth as he panted in exertion.

Although Shippo hadn't seen him do anything.

Inuyasha was just weird like that. This went under the category of "deranged hanyou" like when he would follow Kagome to her baths and pull down his pants and massage himself until he peed white. What was up with that anyways? His piss was always yellow or clear.

Well his mother did teach him that kitsunes must be on the look out for an opportunity and right now seemed like a good time to take Inuyasha's bowl of Ramen.

Shippo quickly dashed forth and took the bowl and made a run for it.

Unfortunately he tripped and fell down flat on his face. Ouch.

"Momma!!!!" Shippo cried as Inuyasha started to brutally beat him for his offense.

It was times like these that he really missed Kagome. She was always carrying him, and feeding him, and protecting him from Inuyasha. These last two week shad been ones of starvation.

Sure Sango and Miroku weren't bad but they didn't care about him or share their food. They just laughed at his antics and kicked him when he got annoying to them.

Which happened every 5 seconds.

Life was unfair for a chibi kitsune alone in woods with a fierce demon exterminator, a houshi monk with too much time on his hands, and a rabid dog that sometimes confused him for his chew toy.

Sometimes he wished that life were easy so that he didn't have to suffer so much. But no, such was not to be.

After Inuyasha whacked Shippo on the head for the hundredth time with his demon strength he felt better. It was a good form of stress relief. Sure Shippo had lumps growing on lumps, and looked like he had crawled into a beehive, but he felt better, and that was all that mattered.

Soon, though, his thoughts went to Kagome and the jewel shards.

Time was running out and Naraku was like an ominous looking threat that hovered menacingly over them.

They still hadn't found half the shards.

Why was Kagome taking so long?!

That wench was taking way too long, he would have to go retrieve her, enough was enough.

And then he smelled her scent. Jasmine and sakura blossoms. No ningen smiled so provocative or sweet.

Not even Kikyo.

Kagome thought he loved Kikyo more than her, but what she didn't understand was that she had been his old love and he couldn't say no to her so easily. He had made a promise, a vow. And dogs were loyal. So although he had no intention of mating with her or going to hell he would make sure that she was safe.

Not that Kagome ever understood this and thought he was deserting her. She would just have to learn though. He didn't have to explain these things.

With that last thought, and as the tantalizing scent of Jasmine drifted even closer Inuyasha sped to the well to help her up…and his Ramen of course.

**_At the well_**

"Jakotsu! Can you stop fondling me for goodness sake?!" Kagome screech as she felt a hand caress her ass again as she climbed out of the well.

"I'm trying woman!" Jakotsu said as he rubbed it a bit more, "But it's right I front of me! What am I suppose to do?"

Kagome slapped his hentai hand off her derriere, liking the sound of impact. No wonder Sango was always hitting Miroku!

"I thought you were gay…" Kagome sighed as she unsuccessfully tried to keep Jakotsu from pulling her skirt down to cop a feel as he "assisted" her off the well. Big help he was.

"I am." Jakotsu said as he stared greedily at her breasts, which were exposed to him by her tank top.

Kagome flinched at his cool statement and wondered at her sudden jealously.

No way.

"Why didn't you bother the other girls at the beach? Or the guys?" Kagome asked trying to change the subject.

"Because none of them looked as good as you." Jakotsu said as leaned down to nip her ear and turn her attention to a gaping Inuyasha that has his mouth thrown open in astonishment.

"Jakotsu!!!!!" Inuyasha yelled perceiving the scent of his seed deep in her womb with his demon sense.

Kagome was pregnant.

And to think, he'd always thought he'd be the first to cheat.

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No comment.

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	9. Pregnancy

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I could apologize for not updating in a while but it still wouldn't change a thing, ne?

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"Women are biatches but men divine...especially my Inu-chan!"

_Jakotsu_

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Chapter 10: Bishounen!

Inuyasha was growling at Kagome in that verbally threatening way with his simmering amber eyes burning a hole through her innocuous mind filled with nothing but air, at least it would be if she would hold still. Jakotsu wondered if he should intervene and make Inuyasha realize that he was a hair-breadth away from making actual skin contact with him, or just keep his mouth shut and watch his cute puppy handle his woman being pregnant.

Wait a moment-did he just call Kagome his woman?

**_Oh my God!_**

I'm becoming demented.

"Shut up Jakotsu! You're the one who got me in this mess to begin with!" Kagome snarled feeling a mite ticked off and hormonally overcharged with a half-demon growing in her womb, the passing of one week being the Demon gestation equivalent of 3 months.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha asked tentatively, forgetting his ire in the face of her fury. He should lay low and avoid the 'O' word...

"WHAT!" she quipped frostily.

"Nothing." he said quietly hoping she would turn her fulminating blue eyes away from his defenseless person.

"NO! Obviously you wanted to say something, so what is it?" she asked again in a more calm manner if screaming could be equated thusly.

Turning away and hoping that by ignoring her she would forget about him as well he was stopped by her next words.

"Tell me NOW!" Kagome shrieked frightening birds flying nearby with her sizzling nerves and sizzling miko energy.

Fumbling with his fire rat he decided to tell her part of the problem, "You sorta smell-" Inuyasha started but got no further than that before he became reacquainted his his long lost friend the ground.

"OSWARI!" Kagome yelled at the top of her lungs, holding the D flat note for a formidable amount of time before a silent figure came out of the shadows of trees and clapped.

Standing bemusedly in all of his finery was the Great Lord of the Western Lands himself; Sesshoumaru, or a.k.a fluff-butt to some.

"How interesting, consorting with ningens I see?" Sesshoumaru asked, looking pointedly at Kagome's womb.

Having the grace to blush, Kagome caught Sesshoumaru's pun and decided that a change of subject was required. Deciding to right matters she released Inuyasha from his imprisonment of the ground with a quick miko spell, and strode to face the Taiyoukai.

"What do YOU want?" Kagome asked tactlessly.

Barely glancing at her direction Sesshoumaru returned his gaze to his snivelign brother.

"Nothing that concerns you whore." he answered snidely.

"NANI!!!" Kagome fumed, pissed off that Sesshoumaru had dissed her so rudely. Sure he was hot, but this was unforgivable.

"You are needed at court, otouto, and you shall be named my heir apparent since I am currently without one." he continued unfazed.

Blustering, Inuyasha re-set his fire rat robes and faced his brother with some equanimity.

"And why would I want to help you brother?" he bit out, grasping the Tetsusaiga.

"Because I have something that interests you." he replied holding out a huge chunk of the completed Shikon No Tama on his fine alabaster hand.

Frowning, Inuyasha asked a question they were all dying to know, "How the fuck do you have more shards than Naraku?"

Smirking, Sesshoumaru replied, "I killed him and in return I evoke a blood oath."

Inuyasha promptly paled and feinted. He had forgotten the words he had foolishly sworn to his brother in his sake fogged mind. Now he, he was, he was...well at least Kagome wouldn't sit him for a while.

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-Dani.

I am evil incarnate. Anyhoo, ta ta 'til later. Not. This is the end. 8-(

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	10. Ancedote

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To everyone I finished revising but this does not mean that I will update. It just depends. ^_^ I'm just unsure how this can be interesting.

-Dani.

_Just something funny I found a while ago._

**Kagome: Hey, did anyone see my spare clothes?**

***Miroku twitches***

**Kagome: Miroku! Did you take my clothes?**

**Miroku: Why Kagome! How could you accuse me of this! Don't I deserve a fair trial?**

**Inuyasha: Dude, face it. You're a lonely pervert.**

**Miroku: Am not! I'm just a desperate pervert! Never lonely!**

**Shippo [to himself]: Hey, Sess was right! Kids are never blamed!**

By: Sync_Q36-82694_eternal you should check her out at Fan Central.

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